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Posts Tagged ‘safety’

This is not a touchy-feely, light-hearted post about Mommyhood, dirty diapers, and discipline.  It is a real story, and my hope is that it reaches far more than I ever expected.  The reason is this:  it is extremely important.

So here goes.  I was  making a quick stop at a local Raley’s grocery store a couple of weeks ago, on the way home from the doctor’s office, with one sick two-year old, and my 10 month old baby.  It was approximately 1pm.  This is a somewhat upscale grocery store, folks.  I don’t usually shop here for groceries, (except for produce) but it’s close to my house, and convenient.  I only say this because it reiterates the point that we do not live in a bubble, and bad things can happen to anyone.  At anytime.  Spoiler alert: this story has a happy ending, you don’t have to read through squinted eyes!

So, as I entered the store, I decided to stop in the cereal aisle and pick up my son’s favorite cereal.  Aren’t I a nice mommy?  The aisle was empty when I entered it, and when I turned around to grab the cereal I noticed a man in the aisle with me.  I didn’t think much of him, but I did notice he didn’t have a cart, or basket, and wasn’t carrying any groceries.  And he was looking at tea.  Now, I’m not saying he couldn’t have been a tea drinker, but he didn’t strike me as the type.  I shrugged it off, even thinking “maybe he’s getting some tea for his girlfriend”.  I moved on.

I didn’t see him in the produce section.  But, when I got to the back of the store, in the medicine aisle, to get the Motrin I needed for my son, I noticed him again.  He hadn’t picked up any tea, and now he was looking at the Epsom salts.  Really?  I mean, please.  He actually tipped one off the shelf and was examining it.  First, have you ever purchased Epsom salts?  And, for those of you who answered yes, did you have to comparison shop?  I think not.  Now I was officially suspicious.  We made eye contact.  He looked away quickly.  I wouldn’t say I was alarmed yet, but I was definitely getting creeped out.  I decided to get one more thing and get out of that store.

I moved to the next aisle.  While I was grabbing a container or two of baby food, he came around the corner.  We were mere feet from each other.  We made eye contact again.  He turned on his heel and walked away.  So, now I was officially DONE.  I made a beeline for the front of the store.  While I was waiting in line, I looked for him everywhere.  I turned my back to the front of the store, and my eyes combed the aisles.  He was nowhere to be seen.

I asked the checker if by chance they had any secret shoppers in the store.  Who knows, maybe he was just really, really bad at his job.  I told her what had happened.  Because I didn’t see him anymore, and it was the middle of the day, I decided to just put it behind me and get home.  I made my way to my car, loaded the groceries into the back, and . . .

You guessed it!  While I was loading my kids into the car, I saw him.  Not four cars away from me, standing on a cement curb.  And, texting away on his phone.  Occasionally looking up at me, and glancing around the parking lot.  He hadn’t bought anything in the store.  At this point, I was not terrified, I was angry.  I knew he was up to something (though fortunately I’ll never know what).  But I didn’t know what to do about it.  I buckled my kids in as fast as I could, looking over my shoulder about 67 times during the process.  I got in the car, locked the doors and turned on the air conditioner.

Then I called my husband.  You see, he’s in law enforcement.  Yay, me!  Had he been in town, he probably would have driven to that parking lot himself.  But, he was about 1500 miles away.  So, he had me give him a detailed description of the man: height, weight, build, skin color, facial hair, tattoos, etc.  He would have loved a license plate number, but I never saw him get into a car.  He had me take a long, roundabout way home, watching carefully to ensure that no cars were following me.

Fortunately for me, this is where my story ends.  Pretty anti-climactic.  But, since this is not a movie, that’s how I like it.

Here’s a few things you can learn from my mistakes (not smart):

  1. When I was in the cereal aisle, at one point, I left the cart and walked past this man to get the box of cereal.  I put him between me and my babies.
  2. I didn’t alert anyone in the store until I was at the register.
  3. I didn’t ask to have someone walk me out to my car.
  4. I was able to describe his physical features, but I couldn’t tell my husband for certain if he had tattoos, or his ethnicity
  5. What else do you think I could have done better, safer?

Here’s a few things I did right (smart):

  1. I was paying attention to my surroundings, and noticed him immediately
  2. I made eye contact several times
  3. I notified a store employee
  4. I called my husband for help before I left and drove home
My husband has told me that eye contact is a huge weapon.  Sometimes just taking the element of surprise away from a potential assailant is all that is necessary to avoid a crime.  My guess is this guy was looking for a theft victim, and thought I was an easy target with two children to distract me.  He did not find the opportunity he was looking for.

I have been back to Raley’s, and asked if anyone else has reported anything similar.  No one has.  I hope it stays that way.

My husband is a) getting me some pepper spray and b) asked me if I would be interested in getting a CCW (Concealed Carry Weapons permit).  He’s asked me about my interest in the CCW before.  I was completely against it before this incident.  Mostly because I’m with my kids all the time.  I would be more worried about them getting their hands on it than me actually needing it.

I am still not seriously considering it.  But, it did make me realize, if something much more serious had happened, I had no real way of protecting myself and my children.

Possibly a self-defense class is in order. . .

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I just ordered a new car seat for my middle son (age 2 and a slight 25 pounds), and I am so excited!

It’s not just any car seat.  It’s a Sunshine Kids Radian 65SL.

The Radian is known for 1) safety and 2) narrow profile.  Per the Sunshine Kids website: “. . . the Radian 65 fits three-across in a mid-size car while providing more shoulder room for the child occupant .”  Sold, and sold!

So you understand, my three kids are crammed like sardines in the second row of my Toyota RAV4.  It is a fantastic car, but not necessarily known for it’s, er, roominess.  At least not with three car seats.  The back, oh yeah, I can pack all kinds of craziness back there.  Because there’s no third row.  But, I do love my car.  Don’t get me wrong.  I would be sad to see it go.  I am continually amazed at what I can fit in that thing.  But if something doesn’t change soon, I’m going to go crazy, and my husband is going to come home to find a Suburban where its little sister used to be parked.

The main issue I have is that the car seats are soooo close together.  My oldest son’s booster is seriously squished against the car door.  So much so that it kind of tilts slightly, and I’m just convinced it is unsafe.  And, because there is no room between the seats, he can’t reach the seat belt to buckle himself in.  And, NO ONE ELSE is able to buckle him in in under 10 minutes.  I have earned a degree in this area, and can usually do it in 10 seconds or less.  But this gets old.  Very old.

So, I’m starting with a new car seat that is a full three inches narrower than my middle son’s current ride.  That’s a lot of real estate in my backseat.  It’s supposed to arrive sometime this week, and I absolutely cannot wait.  Once I get this installed, I am planning on stopping by a local checkpoint to have the safety of the backseat reviewed by a professional.  Then I might feel better about the whole situation.

If you don’t quite yet think I’m nerdy enough, I am also shopping for a seat belt extender for my oldest son’s booster seat.  You know, so he can buckle himself in like a normal 5-year-old.  And, that thought makes me just giggle like a little schoolgirl.  Or a devilish witch . . . booohhaahahaaaww!

A friend just bought one for the backseat of their Highlander, and I was drooling with jealousy . . . I’ve got my eye on one like this:

I am continually amazed, now that I have kids, at the things I wish to spend my money on.  The newest, coolest, prettiest fall sweater at JCrew? Nope, a trip to moreofmetolove.com!  Ugh . . .

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